Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 8 of the Virtual Blog Tour of my mentor and guide, author Tina M Games whose book Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery (and its accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards) is celebrating its 1st birthday on Amazon on Tuesday May 3, 2011.
Author Tina M Games is certified creativity and life purpose coach. She calls herself the “Moonlight Muse” for women who want to tap into the “full moon within” and claim their authentic self, both personally and professionally. Through her signature coaching programs, based on the phases of the moon, Tina gently guides women from darkness to light as they create an authentic vision filled with purpose, passion and creative expression.
Yesterday, Tina visited Cindy Eve at, where she answered questions about her journey to doing this work, mother’s guilt due to extended family breakdown and healing processes for mothers.
Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Tina when I got to ask her some questions about how mothers can use journaling to find authentic purpose, overcome guilt, create change and build a support system. I hope you enjoy it.
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Tina M Games: Thank you, Theresa, for your interest in my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery and its accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards.
I believe that mothers are a significant part of the “ripple effect” – that will transform the world into a more loving, more nurturing place. Imagine for a moment a “pebble thrown into a pond.” It creates a ripple that goes on and on and on.
When a mother is living life with complete authenticity, she’s subconsciously giving permission for her kids to do the same. She’s truly at her best – creating powerful change for her family, her community, and for the world at large. It’s all part of “the ripple.”
It’s my belief that “a happy mother makes the best mother” – and our kids really do want to see their moms happy!
Theresa Ceniccola: Sometimes mothers reach a point at which they are ready for something more – a shift of some sort – but they are just not sure what that is. What can you tell us about how mothers can use journal writing to find their authentic purpose and create that change they are seeking?
Tina M Games: We all go through various transitions in our lives, and each time – we move closer and closer to living life with complete authenticity. It becomes less about living life the way we’re told to and more about living life in a way that really honors who we are at our core. But after years of conditioning by society, schools and our parents; we sometimes don’t know what it is we really want. As mothers, we want the best for our children. We want to see them living life passionately and with a deep sense of purpose. And it may not be until then that we realize, “I want this for myself, too.”
As a life purpose coach, I gently guide moms on a path of self-discovery through journal writing. I ask them very deep questions that take them to a place of “Wow, I never knew this part of me existed.” And when we get to this place, we start “connecting the dots” of life experiences. Why did we travel a particular road just to get to this place of deep questioning? It’s my belief that everything happens for a reason. We experience something in a particular way – good or bad. We meet certain people in our lives who teach us lessons. We travel to a certain place that offers us clues about our next steps or answers a question that we’ve been pondering for quite some time. These are called synchronicities – and they’re happening all the time. It’s when we pay attention that we are led to our authentic purpose. Many of us go through life never knowing that things are happening for a reason – until we reach a place of questioning, “What does this all mean – and why am I here?”
Journal writing is an invitation to jump into the depth of your heart and soul. It’s a place where truth can be spoken without fear of judgment and without worry of being censored. It creates a very private, very sacred place where one can have an honest conversation with her subconscious (that deep inner knowing that we all have). It also provides the space where one can dialogue with her higher power, asking open-ended questions and waiting for thoughtful answers.
Neale Donald Walsch provides an excellent example of what can happen when one opens up to their higher source and makes a request for answers. In his book, Conversations with God, he engages in a dialogue with his divine power and asks, “Why is this happening to me?” And then he waits for the answers – and they eventually come. They pour through him and onto the pages of his journal. And it’s through his journal writing process that he becomes enlightened and finds a way to get his life back on track.
But it all begins with truth. Before we begin our search for answers, we must first be willing to tell the truth. We must be willing to speak from a place of honesty, which many times come from a place of pain.
In my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery, I offer a series of journal writing prompts (called Moonlight Musings) that follow a self-exploration process. Each of these prompts are designed to take a mother to a deeper place within her being – and can take anywhere from five minutes to 30 minutes, depending on how connected a
mom might be with a particular question.
I’ve also designed an accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards. Each card offers a prompt that guides moms on an inner journey to discover more about herself and how to honor her gifts in our external world.
It’s all about being open to receiving and trusting that the answers are there – if we are ready for them.
Theresa Ceniccola: For mom entrepreneurs, one of the things that seem to get in the way of our success is guilt. We struggle to find balance between work and family and we place such high expectations on ourselves that we end up feeling guilty or resentful in both roles. Do you have any wisdom or guidance to share with moms who are experiencing these feelings?
Tina M Games: I’m a big believer that each and every one of us are living OUR life story – in whatever way that story needs to play out. And for many of us, this story involves lessons.
In order to learn OUR lessons, we must journey through the challenges. This is where we grow – emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And for mothers, these challenges often include guilt and resentment.
Guilt is a normal emotion for every mother. We’re always feeling guilty about something we’ve done – or not done – for our children. As mothers, it’s very natural to put our kids above ourselves. And while this may be necessary some of the time, it’s not necessary all the time. As the airlines so smartly proclaim, “Always put the air mask on yourself before assisting a child or another passenger.” In other words, “Take care of yourself, so that you can assist in the caretaking of someone else.”
I often ask moms to describe what the guilt is about – and we work from there, trying to unravel its deeper meaning. What is the guilt trying to teach us about ourselves? What is it that we need to work through so that guilt doesn’t rear its head time and time again? And how can releasing the guilt help us become better mothers?
The same is true for resentment. Who is the resentment toward – and what’s it really about? When we feel resentment toward someone, it usually speaks to something that we’re missing in our own lives. Are we angry at our husband or our significant other because they have a more flexible schedule than we do? Are we irritated with our children because they don’t understand that we need time to do our own thing – rather than run them from one event to the other? Are we feeling resentful toward a friend because she appears to have it all – great kids, a good job, a beautiful home, a strong support system – and she’s smiling all the time? Really dig deep and get to the core of the resentment – and be honest. Nothing can ever be solved if we’re not dealing with truth.
I’ve devoted an entire chapter in my book to mothers guilt and resentment. This is how big a role these feelings play in motherhood – and it’s why a mother needs to face them head-on. See guilt and resentment for what they really are – opportunities to learn more about ourselves and why they play such a significant role in our life story. There’s a lesson wrapped up, beautifully disguised as
mother’s guilt and resentment. What is that lesson – for you? Once you discover it, you can shift the grip it has on you.
Theresa Ceniccola: I love the part in your book about taking baby steps. I’m the type of person who wants to jump right in and find “the perfect answer” and move along to the next thing. Can you tell us why it’s helpful to give ourselves permission to create authentic change slowly and let the path unfold organically?
Tina M Games: There’s so much wisdom in the saying, “stop and smell the roses.” When we’re in a hurry to get somewhere, we really do miss a lot!
God is always sending us messages. When we ask, we do receive. However, when we’re getting caught up in the busyness of life, we’re not always paying attention and we miss the messages that God intends for us to receive.
As a busy Mom, I know the value of time. But I also know the value of prioritizing. As I mentioned earlier, moms are at the beginning of the “ripple effect.” Each and every one of us has the power to create great change in the world. And this change is most impactful, when we begin with ourselves – looking at the mirror and honoring the person who is staring back at you. This is WHO will create great change in your life. So why not honor yourself with the gift of time?
A journal writing practice can begin with only five or ten minutes a day. One of the techniques that I use with my clients is called a “five minute writing sprint.” I invite my clients to close their eyes for a few seconds and ponder a question or a quote. What immediately comes to mind when they think about this question or quote? Then I ask them to open their eyes and begin to write for five full minutes. No censoring, no corrections in spelling – just writing, whatever comes to mind. Then I ask them to go back and read it, paying close attention for little nuggets of wisdom, often hidden in rambling thoughts.
If we can take 30-45 minutes to have a pedicure, we can journal write. I do it all the time. The ladies at my local nail salon know that I will come in with my journal – and I will sit and write while getting a pedicure. They honor my time and they give me the space to “be” with my thoughts while taking care of my desire to have a nice pedicure. And I can’t begin to tell you how much wisdom I gain, how many answers I receive, when I slow down and give myself the gift of time.
We all want to get “there” (wherever “there” is) in the fastest way possible. But true wisdom and real clarity only come in the “slowing down” and in the “listening and paying attention.” If we’re too busy speeding ahead to the next place in life, we’re going to miss an awful lot along the way.
Theresa Ceniccola: Why is it so important for women, especially mothers, to have a support system and what do you look for in creating that support?
Tina M Games: Humans are tribal people. We need people – and we especially need people who understand us, who won’t judge us in a moment of truth. This is why support systems are so important.
Each and every one of us has the capacity to love others. And when we can do that without judgment, we are opening up channels that allow for a rich giving and receiving of love and support.
One of the most important things for a mother is having a strong support system. This can include a supportive husband, an extended family, babysitters, support groups, neighbors and friends. Mothers need people in their lives that they can trust, whether it’s a confidante or someone who can help out with the children in a moment’s notice. It also minimizes isolation, which can often lead to depression.
In my case, I had a very limited support system during a very difficult time in my life. I often wonder how things would have changed for me had I been able to tap into a stronger network of support. Just having an afternoon to myself to sort out how I was feeling, without the interruption of a crying baby, would have done wonders for my self-esteem.
True support systems are built one person at a time, beginning with someone we trust. It’s important that we honor the truth of our situation and allow another to support us in a way that truly helps us. This is what I call “connecting with your tribe.” No one understands a feeling or a situation any more than someone who has been through it – or who may still be going through it. These are the people who will know how to support you. These are the people who won’t judge you in your moment of pain. These are the members of your tribe – those who connect with you from a heart-centered place.
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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Tina M Games and that you’ll check out her book and card deck Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery this month at http://moonlightmomscircle.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html
Here’s why:
FREE 3-DAY PASS
When you visit the page at the link above and request a “launch reminder”, you will automatically receive a FREE pass to Tina’s 3-day “I’m a Mom… But Who Am I Really? Telesummit” with 11 creative writing moms and grandmothers speaking on how to use intuition, journaling and creativity to explore life purpose. You can listen to the telesummit online in the comfort of your own home, and even ask questions during the broadcast.
This telesummit is a completely free “no purchase necessary”
gift from Tina, to celebrate the 1st birthday of her book.
FREE GIFTS
When you buy Tina’s book or the card deck during its birthday celebration on Tuesday May 3, 2011, you can ALSO receive a complete library of beautiful personal development gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe including one from me…
FREE Workbook: How to Set Divinely Inspired Goals
Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your
comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.
AND… be sure to follow Tina tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Schall Adams who will be interviewing Tina on revealing inner truth, intuition and personal identity. To visit that “stop” on the tour, go to http://www.seriousfunradio.com/2011/04/journaling-by-the-moonlight/
