Five Things You Can Stop Feeling Guilty About

 

 

Moms know guilt. We wear it like a tattered old sweater we refuse to part with. We carry it with us like a dark cloud that threatens our happiness. And we reluctantly but faithfully accept it from strangers, causing us second-guess our every move.

Guilt can be helpful if it causes you to be a better person. But, if you’re like me, you take on a lot of guilt that doesn’t do anything but create stress and anxiety. That’s because we feel guilty about things that don’t deserve our attention. Here are five things I’ve decided I no longer need to feel guilty about – and I’m hoping you will join me!

Five Things You Can Stop Feeling Guilty About

1. Your parenting style. Being a mom is a journey comprised of a million decisions. Breastfeed or bottle feed? Vaccinations or not? Homeschool or public school? It seems no matter what you choose, you attract critics and haters. Family, friends and total strangers weigh in on your abilities as a parent. Even your children evaluate your skills and tell you what you’re doing wrong (maybe that’s just my children!). But guess what? It’s your job to make those decisions and you’re not getting fired any time soon. God gave your children to you for a reason – and he will equip you to be the best mom you can be to them. So make your choices based on what you feel is best at the moment and don’t look back.

2. Your work choices. Are you a member of Team LeanIn or Team StayAtHomeMom? A lot of moms feel like they need to take sides. I happen to fall somewhere in the middle, which makes it difficult to have allegiance to either team. But there are some maniacal fans on both sides and they can make you question your choices. One minute you feel guilty for not being home with your children and the next minute you feel guilty for “wasting” your master’s degree. Remember, God created YOU to be unique. He has very specific plans for you – and they don’t involve following the crowd. So, take heart and know that if your choices are in alignment with God’s plan there’s no reason to feel guilty. [Read more…]

Simple Time Saving Tips for Mompreneurs

Simple time saving tips for the mompreneur The other day I admitted to a group of friends that I had forgotten to pick up my son from swim practice. The women immediately chimed in and tried to “one up” each other with stories of motherhood failures. Each one had a story. Like forgetting to feed her family dinner before bed. Or sending her kids to school in the clothes they slept in. Or the time I entirely missed my daughter’s poetry reading at school. There’s something about sharing our failures that makes us real. It gives us assurance that we’re not alone. And it gives us a reason to share encouragement and advice as well.

That’s one of the things I love about my friends – they are so full of helpful tips and so willing to share what works for them. (Which means I get to share it with you!) So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and less than perfect right about now, try these simple time saving tips. You’ll feel more in control of your schedule and better equipped to handle the occasional little failures that seem to accompany motherhood!

1. Plan Your Meals for the Week. I know this sounds way too organized and Type A for some people but hear me out on this. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You can just have a general plan. One of my friends has a daily breakfast schedule. Her kids know what they’re eating for breakfast every day of the week. It’s always cereal on Mondays, eggs on Tuesdays, etc. It’s a little too structured for me but it works for them. I also have friends who use meal planning services like eMeals or The Scramble. And others who make freezer meals.

Here’s how I do it. When I do my grocery shopping, which is usually on the weekend, I plan 3 or 4 meals in my head. I buy all the ingredients I need for those meals. Then I make a list of those meals and the side dishes that go with them. As the week progresses I don’t have to think about what’s for dinner – I just choose from the list based on how much time I have to prepare. And I always have 2 or 3 staple meals I can make in a hurry to supplement the planned meals.

2. Prep the Night Before. This is critical if you have a busy morning routine with several kids leaving for school at various times. Teach your children to get everything ready the night before – bookbags packed, lunches made and in the fridge, shoes and clothes out, etc. It not only saves time but it also makes for a more relaxed morning because they don’t have to go searching for anything. Of course, the downside of this is that my kids will often discover at 10 pm that a uniform needs to be washed or we’re out of bread for sandwiches. But I guess it’s better than finding out at 7 am!

Another trick about prepping the night before is to get your workout gear ready if you plan to exercise in the morning. Having everything out and ready provides one less reason to skip the workout!

3. Clean as You Go. This is more difficult to do if you work outside the home but it makes a huge difference on the weekends. I try to keep up with laundry by doing a load or two every day (I’m not great about folding it and putting it away but at least I don’t have piles of dirty laundry to fight on Saturday). And I wash dishes as I cook so that I’m not stuck in the kitchen all night after dinner. The kids keep the dishwasher emptied every morning so I don’t have to look at dirty breakfast dishes all day. And I make my bed every morning, if for no other reason that to start my day feeling organized. [Read more…]

Meet Featured Sister Tami Kiser

Kiser, TamiIf a mother of 10 (yes, 10!) can run a home business then I really have no excuse. I met Tami Kiser through CatholicMom.com where we both serve as blog contributors. I was excited to hear about her upcoming virtual event designed to revive busy moms spiritually — without the added hassle of traveling to a live conference. Join Tami and get out of survival mode and into revival mode!

Meet Featured Sister Tami Kiser

Business Name: CatholicConference4Moms

Business Description:

This is an online Catholic conference for moms, but certainly not exclusive to just Catholics. It’s just that this is the primary faith that is shared by the presenters.  It is hoped that it will become an annual event connecting moms and many of the blogs that minister to Catholic moms.

Tami’s Story: 

I tried my hand at running my own ministry, Smart Martha. In that ministry I had a book and travelled regularly to do all day seminars, mostly for women’s church groups. The seminars focused on setting priorities, faith and family first, and then on practical organizing and homemaking tips. They were well received. But, I got tired of travelling and was looking for other ways to help busy moms. (Travelling also took it’s toll on this busy mom.)

I started to look into the idea of an online conference. AFter a lot of research, I came up with this current model. And after so many years of travelling, speaking at conferences, and writing a couple of books, I had many connections with other women who were my potential speakers. Plus I like the fact that it could all be done from my desk at home! I found a couple of film students and hired them to be my video team. The conference is all pre-taped–this may not seem as dynamic, but for most moms, having that flexibility of when the presentations will be viewed wins over the “live” factor.

I’ve always loved being in business for myself and am thankful for the opportunity this conference has been for me. I’ve found an outlet for my creativity–designing the webpages, ads, logo, etc. I’ve found an opportunity for practicing my marketing, advertising skills. And finally, I’ve used my HR skills with all of the people I’ve been meeting, emailing, and talking to on the phone. Besides this small business venture, I am a full time mother of 10 children. And I work part-time teaching at a private, Catholic school.
[Read more…]