Lately, I’ve been encountering this idea of the perfect mom. We all seem to be striving for it, and falling miserably short. Yet, we look at other moms and think, “Wow, she’s such a good mom.” Of course, she seems perfect.
I think in this modern culture where we’re able to connect with so many people from around the world, and yet not really know them, it’s so easy to perpetuate the myth of the perfect mom. We read a blog or Facebook post about something one mom is doing something with her kids, and we think, “She’s a perfect mom. I’m not doing that. I’m not perfect.” As a result, we feel guilty, inadequate, and maybe even resentful.
We live in a culture where appearances are important. We like showing others our successes. We like showing our accomplishments. Our highlights. Our good days. Does anybody post a picture of their children pouting? Do we post the poop that our two year old smeared on the wall? Do we post pictures of us arguing with our teen? Do we post our tears of frustration? No. We post the happy moments. The proud moments.
Nothing wrong with that. (I doubt you really wanted to see our poop wall mural.)
It’s just that others are left thinking life is all good for us. And we think life is all good for them. So we leave their perfectly clean, spotlessly decorated homes feeling defeated. Their children love doing chores. Their children love reading. Their children love serving others. Their children get their chores done without being told. Their children love eating healthy foods.
And we leave thinking, “What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get my children to ……..?”
Let me make this more personal. I often feel like such a failure as a mom. My failures and imperfections are like neon signs announcing, “You’re not a good mom! Who are you to give advice to others? You’re not accomplishing anything!”
My usual response to these accusations is to sit in a corner and have a pity party, and then with new determination and fire, I come out swinging like a boxer making a comeback. I begin barking orders, setting new rules and generally being a pain in the you-know-what because I want things to be better. My goal: fix my failures. Strengthen my weaknesses. Do it ALL right.
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